


Can You See Him?

by Emotionalsorbet



Category: Avengers
Genre: M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), The Nine Realms, Thor is a good friend, Tony's death, sad Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emotionalsorbet/pseuds/Emotionalsorbet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's death was nothing they could have planned for. Steve blames the stars for cursing him with a life of losses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You See Him?

 

 Under the obnoxiously warm covers, Steve tosses and turns, hopelessly attempting to allow his mind a chance to rest. It's a fruitless activity, because he's tried time and time again, blinking his eyes shut only to open them a second later. With each failure, he sighs, getting nowhere but further into his current state of exhaustion. The whole ordeal is pointless--two days have gone by, and he feels like absolute shit. There are immense bags under his eyes, and a ridiculous amount of missed calls stored on his phone.

 For a brief minute, he feels as though rest might be consented to him. Although, and despite this, Natasha's ringtone is echoing throughout the small confinements of his apartment as soon as he dares to conjure a dreamless sleep.

His vision stings ( _is that even possible_?), and for heavens sake, it's the goddamn middle of the night. No one should be calling at this hour, anyway.

He picks up his phone--it's nearly only eight o'clock. 

A shaky exhale brings an all too familiar ache to his chest, suddenly pricking tears to rise into the edges of his perspective. He bites his lip. Any courage he had mustered to answer the call slipped away without a word.

The goal isn't to avoid his teammates, rather, it's to do the opposite. He wants to communicate, to scream out every last ounce of agony he's experiencing in order to rid himself of the burden. But it's as though he can't. Not this time, not _again_.

_"You know that's a one way trip, Stark."_

_He remembers Tony's faint laugh at the end of the statement. How he practically smiled at the thought, eyes lighting up sadly when his hands touched the missile. "That doesn't sound like a good bye to me, Rogers."_

_Steve's heartbeat had moved into his throat, "Who said it was?"_

_"Mm, I'm gonna need something, hon. Can't really dive into another realm without anything to hold onto."_

_Faintly, he could hear Jarvis arranging a call to Pepper. The AI was calm, voice remaining level as he proposed the initial question. Steve only wished he could even out his composure that well--with every inch of proximity diminished between Tony and the portal, his heart picked up a beat, drumming mercilessly against his rib cage until its bursting through his chest became an all too real danger._

_Everything happened so quickly after that--Steve's breath was hitching as Tony flew out of sight, and Natasha was calling out, waiting anxiously for the return. When it ceased to arrive, Thor turned to Steve, who fumbled, somehow managing to to give the order._

A rumble from the sky steals away his train of thought. The sound is layered, piling over itself in a way that almost casts the flash of light that follows to be insignificant. He listens to it, patiently waiting for the cascade of rain to fall onto the asphalt below. Once it comes, he'll begin counting. After all, his mother always did say to count the time passing between each element of the storm to track its distance.

He wonders if the method can apply to the life he's living. Sure, he's been taken for a hell of a ride, but what does that mean? No one ever said life was meant to be easy. But then again, no one ever stopped to define just how hard it could be.

The self made clock comes to a halt at five, stopping short on account of the next round thunder. There's a pause, then, standing for about another five seconds and completely in the absence of light. Steve frowns--that doesn't quite add up. Another crash of the clouds is paired quickly with a streak of lightning, moving fast across the sky without any explanation for the previous sounds. He waits, but the odd noise doesn't appear to be planning on making a reappearance. 

Steve shrugs it off as having been the wind, although, and in holding off assumptions, he's met with a repeat of the noise right smack in the center of the half second of brightness. He stands, then, stepping cautiously over toward the door.

Thor's on the other side of the door when Steve glances through the peephole, one hand wrapped around his hammer and the other hesitantly hovering over the painted wood to knock a third time. A crowds made its way around him, and from the looks of it, he's fairly uncomfortable, contemplating leaving as a solution to the mess he's gotten himself into.

Steve scrubs a hand down his face, pulling back from turning the knob. "Christ. Okay, um, wow, I should have known. Give me one second--yeah? I'm sorry."

The apartments an absolute wreck. Several empty bottles of beer line the edge of his coffee table, and there's a pretty fat chance that the only set of plates he's got are shattered across the kitchen tile. Plus, a whopping amount of tissues are thrown in every direction. He runs to collect them, shoving the mess into the small garbage can in the torn apart kitchen. Thor will simply have to settle with remaining in the living room. 

Thor stares when he sees Steve, eyes wide and lips parting slightly. He doesn't know what to say, and quite frankly, Steve doesn't blame him. "Are you--are you okay?"

"Stupid question," Steve drops his gaze to his feet before shifting to stare out at the weather. "This is you, I presume?"

"Stupid question."

He laughs lightly at the comment, a faint smile playing on his lips. "I take it you're here for a reason. Care to elaborate?"

"I'm afraid you might not believe me if I did." The rain stops momentarily, seemingly drying out the sky as the sentence leaves his lips. "Perhaps it may prove better if I showed you."

Steve puts up his hand, "I don't think--maybe another time, if you wouldn't mind. It's just...it's only been--"

Thor is quick to cut him off. He mentions something about about New York, and Steve watches him, eyes struggling to look in any other direction. When the team-- _when Tony_ \--is mentioned, he flinches, causing the subject to be changed to another topic.

There's an alter in Thor's tone of voice. His words become softer, and his features seem to relax ever so faintly. "What do you know of the nine realms?"

Steve raises an eyebrow. "Not much," he admits, "I mean, I've read a few things--stumbled on an old book once or twice, but other than that--" a tilt of his head, "what's this about?"

"I've come to seek your attendance, that is, if you will agree to come with me."

At the proposition, Steve takes a step back, earning a dissatisfying shuffle of an object his heel sent flying across the hardwood. He sighs, turning back to the sight of a shattered picture frame. Had he thrown that? Quite honestly, he has no idea, and he has absolutely no clue as to what still remains in tact in the apartment. The past forty eight hours have been a blur, leaving him reeking--both in the sense of exhaustion and overall stench. 

It's clear that he's a bit uncomfortable with the situation, and she shifts, right hand moving to clutch his left bicep. "To where? Asgard? Thor, I can't--we, the team doesn't have any jurisdiction there. We can't help you out with this. ...Oh, _God_ , that was--I'm sorry. Is, um, everything alright?"

Thor nods, "All is well, yes."

"Then what's--I don't--?"

"I do not believe that my brother has best represented the nature of Asgard, of anything concerning the realms, really." Steve huffs; Thor continues. "There is; however, a person whom can explain the nature of them better than myself or any individual in Asgard. If you agree, I would like to take you to him. You may have heard of his name--Heimdall. He is called the watcher, and he can see everything within these worlds."

"Everything?" Steve glances up, "Does that include--?"

"Indeed it does." Thor smiles as Steve spins around, head tilted back in order to attain a better perspective of the ceiling. He turns back after a moment or two, pointer finger accentuating the request.

"Would you--could um, would you mind if I showered first?"

"Be my guest."

-

Hot water beads down his back, rolling down the length of his spine until it drops off onto the floor. He closes his eyes when he feels it, because, and to be frank, this is the closest to peace he's been for the passed week. There was the battle, and then the memorial, and every year of grief that followed. If anything, he's learned nothing more than to avoid the mirror--red eyes, blotches, and day old, half healed wounds don't exactly make for a fresh face.

Despite his appearance, though, Thor doesn't say much, for rather, he simply smiles politely at the curious neighbors of the building, excusing himself and Steve in order to make it out the main entrance. They move into the center the soaked asphalt before Steve is pulled into Thor's side, noticeably thrown off and altogether shocked at the sudden contact. 

"Hold on tight."

Steve stumbles, fingertips struggling to find something on Thor to hold while his own waist is being encompassed. No time to argue is presented to him, as Thor is already lifting his hammer to the sky in order to draw in a tremendous amount of lights. He blinks, and within seconds the earth transforms into an array of colors.

"What's the policy concerning vomiting in space?"

Thor chuckles, clapping a hand on his shoulder before moving forward. Eventually, Steve follows him, heading down toward a man clad in gold. "You said he's the watcher?"

"Heimdall."

"Right, right."Steve scrunches his nose, gesturing to the floor, "And this?"

"The Bifrost Bridge."

"What happened to it?"

Thor takes a step toward the edge. "Something we should avoid discussing."

The man in gold-- _Heimdall_ \--doesn't turn his head when he speaks, but nearly only keeps his eyes trained on the space before him. He talks with Thor prior to addressing Steve, "Captain."

Steve takes a place beside Thor, eyes wide. "Hei--Sir--uh, yes?"

"You've come by means of Thor, no?"

Without thinking, Steve nods. He curses himself immediately after, "Yessir."

"I assume then, he has not mentioned much of me to you. What I know, what I can hear, and what I can see." 

"No, sir."

Heimdall gives a small chuckle, "My boy, you do not have to add sir to all of your sentences. Now, tell me, what do you wish to know of the realms?"

"What can you tell me?"

Thor shifts, walking around to stand behind the two of them. Steve doesn't grant him much attention, for he is much more focused on the man-- _God_?--before him. "As you know, there is Midgard, home of humanity, as well as Asgard, the world of the Aesir tribe of gods and goddesses. Each world branches off the other, like a tree for example. The worlds do connect, however, some do not. And some I will also advise you never to visit--of these is Hel, the world of the goddess Hel and the deceased.

"The seven remaining realms each follow this pattern, and house a variety of creatures. Vanaheim is the world of the tribe of the Vanir gods and goddesses. Jotunheim is home to the Giants. Niflheim is the world of frost, whereas Muspelheim is the realm of fire. Alfeim houses the elves, and Svarralfheim provides residency to the dwarfs."

Steve stares, amazed. "And you can see all of them?"

Heimdall confirms that he can, and Steve bites his tongue. "But I am afraid that is not the question you wish to ask me."

"I'm sorry?" 

"Something else is on your mind." He pauses, "though it is possible I'm mistaken."

Steve shakes his head in disbelief. He's at a loss for words, really, because never has he experienced anything of this sort. His breath hitches, "Can you see him?"

Heimdall smiles, faintly. "Indeed. Perhaps you can as well."

And, wait, _what_?

A familiar voice calls out from somewhere behind him, the sound echoing through the silence. He turns upon hearing it, fast and sharp on his heel. Steve chokes, bringing a hand up to cover his face.  Tony smiles, moving fast in front of Thor in order to reach Steve's position. His arms wrap tight around the blond's shoulders, and within seconds he's being quilted in the return of the embrace. He squints his eyes shut, "You never said goodbye."

"I'd hoped I'd never have to."


End file.
